Moon Dance
by Mia LeighArc
Summary: [Updated] Have you even wondered what would've happened if Niles had confessed his love for Daphne sooner? What if he never married Mel and Daphne never got engaged? These are all questions I have pondered for years and will answer for you. This is the untold story of what it could've been...(rating has to do with sexual tension/innuendo)
1. Light and Frothy

Moon Dance: The Niles and Daphne Saga

By Mia Leigharc

Chapter I:Light and Frothy

Niles was sitting across the table from Frasier sipping his coffee after a discussion about their father, they agreed to change the subject. Upon making such an agreement, Frasier spoke first.

"Look, why don't we just change the subject from dad, and talk about something else." Niles nodded and spoke between sips of his Kenya Cappuccino.

"Absolutely, pick a new topic. Something light and frothy." Frasier stopped for a moment to contemplate, then asked the question he's been dying to ask for weeks now...

"I agree. Are you in love with Daphne?" having just taken a sip of coffee, Niles spit out his coffee all over the table. Frasier, startled by this, jumps back for a moment, and pulls the stack of napkins out from underneath the sugar container in the middle of the table.

**"**That's a little frothier than I had in mind!"

He placed the napkins over the mess as his brother grabbed one off the top of the pile angrily patting his mouth and throwing in down on the table before responding.

**"**That preposterous! I refuse to dignify that question with an answer." Frasier stares at him for a long moment, raising a brow knowingly. Niles can't help but crack under the pressure. His voice was filled with longing and such a unrequited desire that Niles was almost to the point of tears.

**"**I don't know! There, I said it. There, are you happy? Oh, why did you have to hire Venus herself? Couldn't you have found some beefy, East-European scrub woman who reeked of ammonia?" Frasier just laughed to himself and raised his eyebrows.

**"**Well, I asked, but it was an Olympic year. The agency was fresh out." Niles continued his pining, raising his eyebrows to emphasize the lack of passion he feels with Maris.

**"**Frasier, I can't get her out of my mind. When I look at Daphne she stirs a passion in me I've never known before." Upon hearing this Frasier felt concern for his brother's marriage. He furrowed his brows as he decided to question him about this news.

**"**Niles, you're not considering leaving Maris?"

**"**Certainly not!" Niles said with a sigh. Frasier analyzes this news and states what he believes the situation amounts to.

**"**Well, I suppose the situation you're in is that you'd like to stay with Maris but you'd like an affair with Daphne." Niles agrees and hopes that there is a chance for this to happen...and soon. Frasier already knows where this is going.

**"**Yes. Can I do that?" Frasier mentally taps his forehead with his hand.

**"**No, you can't!" Frasier broke a small smile upon Niles pouting slightly, but finally listening to reason.

"I thought that I couldn't but you got my hopes up there for a minute." As the conversation continued and Niles tried to question his older brother if he were indeed happy, in the back of his mind he couldn't help but feel a blow of sadness of not being able to seduce the goddess in his every waking thought. Oh how he longed for her to be Maris instead. When Martin and Daphne both ended up coming back to the Café Nervosa, Niles "valiantly" appointed himself the opportunity to drive them home. The whole drive, he kept staring at Daphne in the rear view mirror. Such a vision and how he wanted to be a part of her perfection...a part of her passion. He let his mind wander further as the ate at Hoppy's Old Hiddleburg that night. Laughing and smiling when someone said something cleaver or heckling when his brother would grace them with a witty antidote, Niles still couldn't shake the feeling he was stuck in his marriage, a passionless marriage. How we wished Daphne could be interested in him too...

A few days later he was visiting Frasier. When Daphne answered the door, he noticed his father was doing his exercises.

**"**Hello, Dr. Crane."

**"**Hello, Daphne." He took note of how Daphne's yoga pants clung to her physique.

**"**Hey, Niles." Martin said from the floor.

"Ah! Doing your exercises I see?" Niles asks while walking inside. Daphne walks back towards Martin, bending over slightly in front of Niles. He took note of this and stood still for a moment.

"Yes, and if someone doesn't let us get on with them, he's gonna get a little spank on his fanny."

Niles, thinking she was talking to him, stood frozen in shock for another

long moment. He stumbled out an awkward reply still confused and hoping she was talking about him.

"Well...Don't let me...unless you want to..." There was no reply, but Niles was already picturing it in his head. Later as the subject of the book _Slow Tango in South Seattle_, Niles had to laugh at the fact that Frasier as always was getting worked up over things. He also noted that he was the better pianist for enjoying his music lessons than the music teacher. He had to laugh aloud and sigh with lust to himself when Daphne asked about the writer's creative license of the story.

"Oh, then you're not really able to "bring a woman to hidden realms of ecstasy with your panther-like prowess?" Niles bite his bottom lip slightly. How he wanted to bring Daphne to those realms of ecstasy...

"It's true. As Mr. Fallow put it, 'she saw his sensitive, poetic side and you couldn't help noticing the way her ripe, heaving bosom would brush your cheek when she reached for the metronome.' " Niles sighs deeply at Daphne watching her motion to her bosoms. Imagining himself in the situation, he took a long deep breath. In his mind, he saw himself at the piano with Daphne standing next to him as she reached for the metronome. Her bosom gently touched his cheek and he sighed aloud, shivering slightly. She smiled warmly at his reaction and placed a soft hand on his right shoulder. Suddenly her voice was, low, husky and smoldering as her right hand started caressing his neck. Her other hand was playing with his ear lobe.

" Start at center C, Niles." She said in his ear as he began giggling like a smitten school boy. Meanwhile, everyone in the room had ignored his glazed expression until he started giggling. Daphne gave him an odd look and tried to get his attention.

"Dr Crane?" She said with no response, Niles was still wrapped up in his fantasy.

"Dr. Crane?" She said louder this time. Niles snapped out of it and looked around confused.

"I'm sorry, I must've drifted off." Slightly embarrassed he tried to grab the book out of his father's hands so he could read it himself... and once he did read it, he could fantasize about him and Daphne.

Later that evening, Frasier returned home. He had been mulling over the fact that he was still unhappy with his encounter with Thomas Jay Fallow.

Daphne entered with a copy of the book and shouted at Frasier.

**"**Shame on you!" she said forcefully.

**"**What for?"

**"**What for? You just ran out on her." Daphne said forcefully, reading the passage aloud.

" 'Leaving her bed as empty as a swallows nest after fall's first frost.' And you ask me what for?" Frasier startled was taken aback by this.

**"**I'd just been accepted to Harvard. What else was I gonna do?"

**"**Oh, so you just leave in the middle of the night without so much as a kiss on the forehead." Daphne stormed off to her room in a huff. Niles would never have done that to his goddess...

"_Honestly, Frasier, when will you learn how to care for a woman like that? Don't even think I would do something so foolish to my perfect English rose!_" Niles thought to himself.

**"**You never said goodbye to Miss Warner?" He said still in thought.

**"**Well, she was sleeping so peacefully. She had an early lesson! I left a rose on her pillow." Now it was all beginning to make sense.

**"**A-ha!"

" 'A-ha,' what?" Frasier cried defensively.

" 'A-ha' this, I have a theory." Niles declared with a grin.

**"**Well, why else would you say 'a-ha'? "

**"**No, no, no. Just listen. You thought you were angry at Thomas Fallow for failing to thank you for the contribution you made to his life. But perhaps the person you're really angry at is yourself. You never thanked Miss Warner for the contribution she made to your life."

**"**I was only seventeen years old, I'm sure she understood." Frasier said trying to convince both Niles and himself.

**"**Perhaps she didn't. She was a vulnerable, lonely, middle-aged woman. It is possible that her feelings for you ran deeper than you realized? Feelings which you crushed when you disappeared without so much as a thank you or a goodbye."

**"**Yes well, thank you and goodbye!" Frasier said in a huff.

**"**Fine, I'll just leave you with this thought: your encounter with Thomas Jay Fallow was unsatisfactory because it failed to provide you with the closure you were seeking. For that you will have to make amends with Miss Warner - A-ha!" Niles said as he left, closing the door behind him.

Days later, it was discovered that Eddie had gotten another dog pregnant in the park. Niles came to visit because of his wife's Women's League Senior yoga group. They were trying to get rid of the last puppy, but Daphne didn't want to give him up to the family.

**"**I didn't reject them, the dog did. Canines have a very keen sense of who's a nice person and who isn't. Why, many's the time I've chosen a man based solely on the way my mum's Springer Spaniel took to them." Niles raised an eyebrow at this fact...he had a plan. As Frasier walked over to address Daphne, Niles checked to make sure the others aren't looking. He took a dab of pâté from his cracker and rubbed it behind his ears.

**"**Oh, Daphne, that is preposterous! Letting a dog choose your dates?"

**"**It's true! If a dog likes a man, it's a good bet he's warm and sensitive." Niles went to the couch and took the puppy from Daphne, petting him.

"You know, I really didn't get a good look at this little tyke. Come here, boy, come to your Uncle Niles." The puppy began licking behind his ear. Daphne was amazed.

**"**Look at that! He's taken quite a shine to you." Niles laughed, pretending to enjoy the attention of the dog.

**"**Yes, happens all the time." Oh the things he would be willing to do to try to win her affections


	2. Sven, Günter, Brick, Oh My!

Moon Dance: The Niles and Daphne Saga

By Mia Leigharc

Chapter II: Sven, Günter, Brick, oh my!

That weekend Niles was visiting Cafe Nervosa when he saw Frasier and Roz sitting at one of the tables. He seemed to have walked into the middle of a conversation.

**"**Okay, okay, I'll keep looking." Roz said not noticing Niles now standing by the table trying to see what exactly they were looking for.

"Looking for what?" he asked.

"I'm helping Frasier find a man for Daphne." Niles put down his cup and did his best to paint a neutral expression and tone that did nothing to hide his outrage.

**"**What?" he lightly remarked.

**"**Here we go! He's a tennis instructor, and his name is Brick." Roz said excitedly.

**"**Dear God, Frasier - Sven, Günter, Brick? Why not just lather Daphne up with baby oil and hurl her over the wall of a prison yard?"

**"**Excuse me, but I've dated all these guys." Roz exclaimed getting annoyed.

**"**Well, where do you think I came up with the imagery?" Niles retorted. This made Roz really furious.

**"**Listen, you little titmouse-!" she said turning to face him Niles's temper also flared before Frasier came between them. Niles knew he wouldn't win this battle with his brother here.

**"**Alright! Niles: you are completely out of line here. And Roz: he does have a point. You and Daphne are entirely different kinds of women. Whilst Daphne is very shy and inexperienced, you are more... well, a lot more...well, actually it's hard to find anyone who's more..." Frasier struggled out.

"Oh, I get it! Not one man I've ever dated is good enough for Miss Daphne, is that what you're trying to say?" Roz said angrily. Frasier frowned slightly.

**"**No, it's what I'm trying not to say, and you're not making it very easy." Roz stood up and grabbed her things, leaving Frasier calling after her.

**"** Oh, I'm out of here."

**"**Oh, Roz, please wait."

**"**Oh no, I can't stay, the fleet's in!"She retorted back while storming out the door.

Saturday evening, Frasier was setting up the apartment while

Daphne was setting the table furiously.

**"**Does he ask permission first? Oh no, he just barges in and says he's set me up with God-knows-who, and I'm supposed to turn cartwheels like I'm bloody Cinderella."

**"**Will you please relax? Look, I told you, this is not a set-up. Tom doesn't even know you'll be here." Frasier pleaded.

**"**Oh, an ambush then. Much nicer! My girlfriends in Manchester used to set me up all the time. And it was always some gangly bounder with a boarding-house reach. And he wasn't going for the Coleman's Hot Mustard, if you know what I mean!" Daphne said in a huff.

**"**Just keep in mind, Tom is just a co-worker who's coming by for a pleasant little dinner. If some sparks should ignite, then fine, but there is no pressure, absolutely no pressure... is that what you're wearing?" Frasier said finally motioning to her outfit. Daphne looked down at her fairly plain housedress, unable to see the problem...

**"**Why, what's wrong with it?" Just then the doorbell rang. Frasier didn't have much time, that will be Tom at the door! He ran to answer it, while convincing Daphne to put on something sexy, motioning to his hips.

"Don't you have something with a little more oomph? Oh, what about that, that strapless number you have?"

**"**Do you have any idea how uncomfortable a strapless bra is?" Daphne said annoyed.

**"**Well, thanks to my fraternity days, as a matter of fact I do!" Frasier said embaressed. He motioned for Daphne to go and change, which she did reluctantly. Daphne returned to the living room wearing a short red strapless dress.

**" **Well, look who we have here. Tom, I'd like you to meet Daphne. Daphne this is Tom Duran."

"Pleasure to meet you." He says kindly shaking her hand.

"Likewise. Oh, Dr. Crane, you didn't take his coat!"

**"**Oh, sorry." Frasier says coyly to allow her to get a good look at him.

"May I?" She said as Tom turned around. As Daphne took his coat, she turned to Frasier, ecstatically, and mouthed, "HE'S GORGEOUS! THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"

Frasier mouthed back, "YOU LOOK FABULOUS! YOU LOOK FABULOUS!" They stopped as Tom turned back around again. She draped the coat over her arm

and started to carry it to the rack, then stopped, feeling one of her psychic premonitions coming on...

"Oh, this is strange, I'm picking up a vibration from your coat."

"Excuse me?" Tom said through his confusion.

**"**Yes well, Daphne feels she possesses psychic powers - you know those English eccentrics." Frasier said, playing her up. Daphne came back and took hold of Tom's hand.

**"**Oh, you've just been through a very painful break-up, haven't you?"

"Yes!" Tom said immediately. He turned to Frasier.

"Oh, wait a minute, you told her that, didn't you?"

**"**No, no." Frasier replied.

**"**There was a bitter dispute about ownership of opera recordings." Daphne announced proudly. Tom, dumbfounded, dropped onto the couch.

"Whoa!" Having made her mark, Daphne made a graceful exit to check on dinner.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll nip into the kitchen. I have a bird to baste." Frasier went into the kitchen, where he checked on Daphne's feelings and first impressions about Tom.

**"**Well?" Frasier asked excitedly. Daphne gushed!

**"**Oh, he's a looker. I'm glad you made me put on my lucky bra. He's worth every wire digging into me ribcage."

**"**Yes, you've made quite an impression on him too. He thinks you're great!"

**"**Oh, go on!" She said giggling.

"God, listen to me getting carried away like a school girl when I've just met the man. No, I'm not raising me hopes tonight - though I'm glad I raised me bosom." She said with a huge smile on her face.

The doorbell sounded so Frasier left Daphne to her excitement as he went to answer it. Niles was standing there with a book.

"Hello, Frasier." He said as he took Frasier's wine glass.

"Oh, thank you. I just stopped by to return your book." he said handing over the book.

"Oh yes, thank you, well don't let me keep you." Frasier said in a hurried and increasingly annoyed fashion.

**"**Am I interrupting something?" Niles said coyly. Frasier gave him the "warning" look, but Niles pretended not to notice.

**"**As a matter of fact, I'm introducing a man to Daphne."

**" **Ah! Guess you don't want me around then." He said as he blatantly ignored his brother's looks of scorn, walking inside and introducing himself to the competition.

"How do you do? I'm Dr. Niles Crane." Tom shook his hand and made with the pleasantries.

**"**Hi, I'm Tom Duran."

Daphne peeked her head out from the kitchen, addressing Tom.

"Bird's all done. Now all I need is a pair of big strong arms to haul it out of the oven." Before Tom could even respond, Niles was already moving in that direction, much to Daphne's distress. She liked Niles, but only as a friend. Truth be told, he could be a bit pretentious at times, and sometimes she thought he was a little full of himself. Niles quickly walked into the kitchen, to Daphne's disappointment and Frasier's anger.

**"**Well, I certainly don't need to be asked twice."

During dinner, Tom was telling a story about the queen in the middle

of an interview.

"So, halfway through the interview her stomach starts rumbling. And her body mike is picking it up, but I have to ignore it. Because what am I going to say; 'Would her majesty care for a Tums?' " Everyone laughed - except Niles, who was being rather immature as usual.

**"**I could listen to your stories all night. They're so funny." Daphne said smiling, Niles was still acting jealous and immature about her flirting with the man "_who appeared to be nothing more than a excuse for a pretty boy._" Niles thought to himself.

"And all involving bodily functions." Niles said, still cutting him down.

**"**Tom, I could use a little hand in the kitchen..." Daphne said, hoping Tom would catch on so they could get some alone time. Niles immediately spoke up instead.

"No, no, sit Daphne, after all that cooking you must be..." He said taking a good look down her frock.

"absolutely strapless." he finished.

Niles went into the kitchen, leaving Daphne one again disappointed. In the kitchen, Niles put a few things into the sink. Tom entered, slightly piqued.

**"**Er, Niles, can I speak with you for a moment?" Tom asks gently.

**"**Yes." said as he slapped down a piece of silverware

**"**I was wondering, did I do anything that offended you?"

**"**No." Niles said as he angrily threw pots into the sink

**"**Oh. It must be all in my head, but I sensed that you had a

problem with me dating Frasier."

Niles turned around about to tell him to stay away from his Daphne, but he stopped mid-sentence "Well, if you must know..." A twenty-second pause ensued while he wondered if he had heard Tom correctly.

"I'm sorry, what was the question?" Niles said, rather confused. Tom crossed his arms and repeated his question.

"Do you have some problem with me dating your brother?" Now Niles understood, and became as serene as Buddha...trying to hold back a laugh and his obvious laughter.

"No." Niles replied graciously

Frasier came into the kitchen, thinking his brother mad for such childish and jealous behavior.

"Now Niles, I didn't ask Tom to dinner so he could talk with you all night in the kitchen. There are others who would like to have a crack at him!" He said without realizing how awkward things were about to become.

Frasier and Tom went back into the living room while Niles just stood there with a small smile that threatened to explode into hysterics. Rocking slightly, he twirled once

on his heel, as Martin came in the kitchen with some plates.

"That Tom's a great guy, huh? You think maybe him and Daphne..." Niles shook his head, combining laughter with a negative "Mmm-mmm." On the balcony, Tom, Frasier and Daphne were having a little chat.

"You know, I can't remember the last time I had such a wonderful evening."

"Oh no, we should be thanking you. I can't remember when I've laughed so hard." Daphne said pleasantly, hoping Tom would pick up on her signals. From inside the apartment they suddenly hear Martin roaring with laughter. They look and see him doubled over in the kitchen, while Niles laughs along.

"You've still got Mr. Crane going." Daphne added

"Daphne, I think a little after dinner music would be appropriate."

"Good idea." She says as she went inside to the stereo

"She's, er, quite a woman, isn't she?" Frasier said, trying to play her up some more. Tom responded flatly

"Yes, she's really something," Suddenly his tone became suggestive. "Um, Frasier, I was wondering..."

"Yes?"

"Do you think before the evening's over we could get a little one-on-one time?"

"Oh, I think I can arrange that." Frasier said confidently thinking he was quite the matchmaker. He went inside while Daphne was putting on music. They both whispered to each other.

"Daphne!"

"Yes?" she said in anticipation.

"He says he wants to be alone with you!"

"No!" Daphne said, unable to believe her luck.

"Yes!"

"This really is my lucky bra! Keep the wine flowing, I'll go fix me lipstick."

"Okay."

She runs back to her room to quickly freshen up while Martin and Niles come back in to the living room from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I guess I'd better be hitting the old sack. Don't want to stand in the way of young romance!" He said hiding a grin.

"Thanks, dad."

"Goodnight, Tom."Martin says walking to his room.

"Goodnight, Martin." Tom called to his retreating back.

"And Niles, isn't it time you were running along too?"

"Yes, I must be on my way. And, Frasier, I must apologize, I was wrong about Tom. If I had to choose a man for Daphne, he's the one I'd pick."Niles said very smugly.

"Good."

"Goodnight Tom, nice to meet you." Niles said as he pulled Frasier aside for a moment.

"Goodnight."

"Frasier, a word in your ear?" Niles then told him that Tom was interested in him, not his dear sweet angel. "Thank god!" Niles thought as Frasier showed his obvious disappointment and utter confusion. Later Tom started coming onto Frasier and he had to set things straight.

"Oh no, it's true, I really am. I just invited you to dinner because you seemed so charming and you were so fond of the British, I thought you might be the perfect man for Daphne." Frasier said disappointed at the mistake. Unbeknownst to both men, Daphne started coming back into the living room from the hallway just in time to hear:

"I can't believe this. You really had no idea that I'm gay?" Tom said, feeling slightly offended. Daphne stopped, unclasped her not-so-lucky bra and walked quickly back to her bedroom, chucking the bra up in the air as she went. Dr. Crane would owe her big for this one!

Days later, Daphne was taking a shower as the Crane men were out for the evening. On the dining room table, Daphne's bathrobe was laid out. Daphne called out into the living room.

"Hello? Are you back yet?"Upon receiving no answer, Daphne rushed in wearing just a towel and her shower shoes. She picked up her nightgown to put it on. However, at that moment the Crane men were coming home. Daphne, stood in shock half out of her towel, holding the robe in front of her, seemingly naked behind it. Niles gaped, and even Frasier and Martin were stunned.

"Well go on, turn your heads."Daphne turned around to change. The three men turned round 180 degrees and face the wall — however, Niles continued turning until he was back where he started - staring at Daphne. Frasier put a stop to it and turned him back just before Daphne could catch him.

"Okay." They all turned back to face her.

"So, I guess you've had some excitement tonight." Upon hearing this, Niles instantly tries to cover for his obvious excitement over the prospect of seeing the vision before him in nothing more than a towel...oh all the times he had imagined it...the countless times.

"No, I haven't!"Frasier bat his arm, just enough to wake him from his little fantasy.

"Well, your father sure made it sound exciting on the phone. Delivering a baby in a taxi."

Niles finally realized what she meant. "Oh, that. I don't think of that as excitement as much as my sworn duty to use those skills I honed in medical school."

"Yes, Niles ran down to a falafel stand for a pot of hot water."

"What I can't get over is that feeling of being there right when a person's life begins. One minute it's just this blob in some lady's stomach, next minute it's a person." He said visualizing his analogy. "Blob - Person!"

"The miracle of birth summed up in one poetic phrase."

"I bet you have some fond memories of when your son was born."

"Oh yes, of course. I remember the very first time I held him in my arms as a newborn. And it was as if everything in the universe simply melted away. There was just a father, a son and the distant sound of Lilith saying, 'If you ever come near me again, Frasier, I'll drop you with a deer rifle.' " Frasier said half in laughter.

"At least nowadays fathers get to see their sons being born. In my day, they stuck us all in the waiting room, smoking cigarettes and reading "Life" magazine. I still remember the exact article I was reading when Niles was born. It was about Mickey Mantle. Talk about life setting you up for a fall! Well, it's been a long night. I'm turning in." Martin said as headed off to his bedroom.

"Night, Dad."

"I can't wait to see what kinds of dreams I have after all this talk about childbearing. Probably that one where my mother shows up and says, (imitating her mother) 'Well, Daphne, you're fifty now and you've never given me grandchildren.' (Normal voice) Then I say, 'That was my choice to make, Mum, I was thinking of my career.' (mother's voice) 'Oh sure, your career, but did you ever think of me?' normal voice, getting carried away 'Mother, I don't want to start this again, just drop it.' (mother's voice) 'But will she drop it?' (normal voice) 'Oh shut up, mother!' (mother's voice) 'Don't talk to me like that, young lady...' "Daphne carried on and on with herself as she headed off to her room.

Days later, Daphne was getting ready for a hot date. She came in from her room wearing a red, oriental style dress.

"Well?" She said to Martin and Frasier who were sitting at the table. Martin let out a wolf whistle.

"Well, Daphne, very nice."

"Thank you." she said with a smile.

"No, thank YOU." Frasier said in his usual flustered voice.

"I'd be more flattered if I didn't know how hard up you both are right now. I'm going out with Derek again tonight. But I'm having trouble choosing a fragrance. I've got it pinned down to these two." She sprayed the first one into the air. "Heather" - fresh and bouncy as a spring morning, or..." She sprayed the other in the air. "Forbidden" — your passport to erotic realms of pleasure." Martin and Frasier smelled them both.

"How many times you been out with this guy?"

"This is our third date."She said. Martin and Frasier shared a knowing look and -

"Forbidden." They both said at the same time. Daphne sprayed some in the air and walked into it.

"Why is it so important this is our third date?" She asked out of curiosity. Frasier goes to the couch and sits down

"Well, Daphne, sexual mores being what they are in America, the third date is usually the place where two healthy adults decide whether or not to... take it to the next level."

"Excuse me?! What kind of a randy custom is that? First date, second date, whoops, let's all pitch our knickers?!" She exclaimed sarcastically. The doorbell rang and she headed for the door.

"The third date may mean that to you Americans," She opened the door to reveal Niles. "but it takes more than three dinners to get bangers and mash with Daphne Moon." Niles stood for a few moments a little stunned. He also took this opportunity to not only imagine himself getting "Bangers and Mash" from his angel, but to also take in how especially ravishing he found her that night. Hiding and obvious sign of his arousal, he directed his attention back to the present.

"Hello, Dr. Crane." She said sweetly. Nile's reply still found him a bit flustered.

"Hello, Daphne. You look even lovelier than usual this evening."

"Thank you." He came in, then sniffed the air. He turned around and got closer to her to get a good whiff.

"Is that 'Forbidden?' " He asked still a bit flustered.

"In every sense of the word!" Frasier retorts before Niles could continue. Daphne started heading for her room "I think I'll just scrub me neck with an unscented soap. If you ask me, you Americans have an unhealthy obsession with sex." Upon hearing this, Niles couldn't help but gaze in the direction of her retreating back, wishing...hoping and desiring with every fiber of his being that he was the man she was going on a date with that night.

"Hey, I'm sorry we can't all be as chaste and restrained as the Royal Family." Martin added as Daphne went to get ready for her date. Niles would have to fight dreaming of her again that night...


	3. South of Manchester

Moon Dance: The Niles and Daphne Saga

By Mia Leigharc

Chapter III: South Of Manchester

Days later, Niles had gone to Frasier's to help him set up the new television he had to get when he had bashed the television with his cane because of a tragic loss by the Seahawks. Daphne and Martin were watching as Niles fumbled around with a new television set.

"This goes here and that attaches there!" Niles said aloud as Daphne hovered over him, watching what he was trying to do.

"Dr. Crane, are you sure you don't want me to try my hand there?" Daphne asked as Niles clumsily tried to attach the wires to their proper place to make the television operational.

"No, no, Daphne, this is no job for you. You might crack a nail or snag a cuticle. There, are we getting anything?" Niles said, continuing to get the set to work. The TV was obviously still not working.

"Does annoyed count?" Martin said, ironically in an annoyed fashion.

"Oh, hush. If you hadn't bashed it with your cane because your precious Seahawks lost, we wouldn't need a new set now, would we? Isn't there a manual?" Daphne asking the obvious question.

"Yes, but unfortunately Stephen Hawking is not here to explain it to us!" Niles retorted as he continued to work. It just goes to show you that all men have something in common...Frasier came unceremoniously through the door with a deranged umbrella. He hadn't even bothered trying to make sense of it and threw it out into the hallway.

"God, I thought the winds had eased up out there!"Martin said to Frasier as he came inside and took off his coat.

"They have." He replied back to his father.

"Then what happened to your umbrella?" Daphne asked.

"One of my listeners recognized me on the street, he pulled it backwards through a chain link fence! You would not believe the hostility I've encountered. Even at the Café Nervosa, my sanctuary, I thought they were trying out the new cappuccino maker - I turned and saw three tables hissing at me!" Frasier said as we began to discuss what he had said on the air about Seattle being dreary and depressing. Suddenly the phone rang.

"Don't answer that, Daphne." Martin said a little too quickly seeing as how people had been calling the house to complain about Frasier's comments on Seattle. Daphne stood by the ringing phone.

"I can't abide the sound of a ringing phone." The phone continued to ring. Daphne continued standing by, ready to answer the phone.

"It's just going to be another crank complaining about Frasier, they've been calling here all day!"

"Oh, no, they've got my home number now?!" Frasier cried aloud. The phone rings again.

" Yes, but, just because the phone rings doesn't mean we have to answer it." Daphne said. The phone sounded again.

"Even though it could be Frederick calling to say he loves you or Grammy Moon calling to say her hip's gone out again." The phone sounded again.

"Still, we can't be swayed by a little ringing bell. Just because it's going ring... ring... ring." Daphne said, starting to wring on Frasier's nerves. The phone sounded.

"Or in the case of a British telephone; Ring-ring... ring-ring... ring-ring... ring-ring... ring-ring..." she continued...The phone sounded again.

"Just answer it, for God's sake!" Frasier said finally giving up.

"Thank you!" Daphne snapped before picking up the receiver.

"Crane residence. Oh, no, I'm afraid he can't come to the phone, may I take a message?" She said with a pause. "Oh, nice language that! I hope you don't eat with that mouth!"

"Daphne, Daphne, excuse me." Niles said as he took the receiver and spoke into phone. "Now see here, how dare you speak to a lady that way." He paused. "Yes, well, that's no excuse, ma'am! Well, only a coward makes threats over the phone, I dare you to come here and say that to my face." He faked a laugh before finally saying "Never you mind where I live!" as he hung up the phone. How dare someone speak to his angel in such a way. She is perfect, pure and decent..."_She deserves better..._" He thought to himself as Frasier had decided on a conclusive plan to fix fellow Seattle residents from being angry with him for his remarks. He decided to attend a church benefit, intending to tell some self incriminating jokes in order to get people to like him again...Let me tell you, that night was a disaster, it made Niles dream of the days when he could just ignore those types of things. At least he had the distraction of sitting with Daphne at the table. She really was a vision in just about every outfit. He sighed as Frasier made a fool of himself that night, wishing he could just take Daphne in a back room somewhere and tell her how he feels. Of course every fiber of his being hoped she would feel the same way for him...

"_I suppose I'll have to settle for gazing at her from across the table for now..._"

Several days later, Daphne was sitting at the table writing a letter. Martin was sitting in his chair opening a box of authentic Cuban cigars.

"Mr. Crane, is the proper term 'serial killer' or 'serial murderer?' " She asked sheepishly.

"Serial killer, why?"

"Oh, just letting my old mum know what's going on in Seattle. She worries when she doesn't hear from me." Daphne retorted without missing a beat. Niles came out of the kitchen with a glass of wine.

"Hey Niles, how about a nice Havana to go with that wine?" Martin asked opening the box to reveal the cigars.

"Thank you!" He said taking one for himself. "Aren't Cuban cigars illegal?" Niles asked with a confused look.

"Yeah, I got a friend in Customs over at Sea-Tac. He confiscated them from some high school teacher who claimed he was bringing them into the country for a civics lesson! I mean, when are people going to learn? Rules are only rules when they apply to everyone!" Martin put one in his mouth and Niles lit it for him.

"Oh, I love to see a man with a cigar." Niles heard this and turned toward her, leaving Martin hanging. "It reminds me of me grandfather. Morning to night, he used to sit with a great big stogie dangling from his lips. Oh, the hours we kids used to spend sitting on his lap, playing with the yellow whiskers beneath his nose. Then he'd take out his teeth with the cigar still in them and chase us around the room! We'd all laugh and laugh... then suddenly Grampa's mood would change and we'd all have to run for our lives. You can't buy memories like that." Daphne said smiling in a wave of nostalgia. Frasier came out of his room wearing a smart suit, but carrying his shoes.

"Damn it! Eddie, I know you took the socks that go with this suit. Now where are they?" Eddie pulled a pair of brown socks from under the couch cushions.

"Brown socks with a blue suit? I think not, try again." Eddie pulled a pair of black ones from under the cushions.

"Thank you."

"And where are you off to?" Niles asked.

"Dr. Crane has a blind date tonight." Daphne blurted out.

Niles: "Really, with who?" He quipped.

"Madeline Marshall. She has her own sportswear concern, and according to "Seattle" magazine, she is the forty-seventh hottest person in Seattle." Frasier responded, excitedly.

"That article was a sham." Niles said making a face.

"Not in it, huh?" Martin said through a smile.

"Can you believe it?" Niles said pathetically.

"Yes, well, I'm off! You know, I have a good feeling about tonight. I have a song in my heart, a little dance in my step, and dog saliva around my ankles!" Frasier said excitedly as he left for his date.

That night, Niles and Martin were both relaxing with cigars. Martin leans against the piano, singing as Niles plays "I Don't Want To Walk Without You," finishing with a flourish.

"Ah, they don't write songs like that anymore." Martin said, savoring the moment with his son.

"This is really what 'men' do, isn't it, Dad?" Niles quipped.

"Yeah. This, and some things outdoors, but we'll just stick to this for now." Martin replied.

"You know, these last few nights have been very pleasant, Dad. You and me, sitting together, appreciating these fine cigars. Who would have thought a simple Cuban peasant somewhere in the Sierra Maestra would bring a father and son closer together?" Niles declared in satisfaction.

"Yeah. Must make that dime he gets for a whole day's work a lot more satisfying." Martin added. Daphne came out of the kitchen with a cigar of her own.

"I'm going to miss these little sweethearts." She said as he puckered her mouth and blew two perfect smoke rings.

"Ooh, now there's a talent." Martin said.

Niles was completely mesmerized "I'll say. Just how do you do that?"

"Oh, it's really very simple. Let me show you, it's all in the tongue." She said as she pulled him close and pursed his lips with her fingers. "That's right, just purse your lips and pucker up like a little goldfish. Just like that, you got it."

Frasier came in to see them — nearly mouth-to-mouth, sticking their tongues toward each other's.

"Niles, what are you doing?" obvious annoyance in his voice.

"I'm learning how to blow smoke." Niles replied

"Where?" Frasier said with a slight pause to give fair warning to his brother.

"Dad, I thought I asked you to smoke those things out on the balcony." Frasier said now addressing his father.

"It's cold out there." Martin replied.

"Fine, all right. Maybe an errant ash will flick off and ignite your easy chair." Frasier said as he went to his room and the three went back to enjoying their cigars. Daphne resumed her heavenly smoke blowing lesson and after admiring her abilities and the way she looked so ravishing even with an ol' stogy hanging from her ruby red lips, Niles enjoyed the rest of their evening. A few times, Daphne would accidently brush up against him reaching for another cigar. Niles sighed inwardly at this and imagined he must've died and gone to heaven with his angel right next to him.

Later that week Daphne, Martin, and Niles were dressed for an evening out. Niles was thanking his father and Daphne (Venus incarnate) for coming to his wife Maris's ballet.

"Maris will be thrilled you're coming to see her tonight in the ballet." Niles said with quite a bit of enthusiasm.

"Oh, we're delighted!" Daphne said excitedly. Niles noticed his father didn't seem too enthused with the idea.

Martin mumbled under his breath "Yeah."

"You know, when I was younger I dreamed of being a ballerina myself." Daphne said happily.

Niles found that bit of information interesting. The picture that came to mind was that of a serene Daphne doing a private dance, just for him. He smiled at the thought.

"So did Maris! But the poor thing could never get her weight up enough. That's why I couldn't help myself at the ballet fundraiser when they auctioned off this walk-on part. It was the perfect gift for my Maris!" Niles said.

"So Maris is gonna be a ballerina?" Martin said actually curious.

"No. It's non-dancing, but it is a key role, Dad. She plays Ulrich, the hunchbacked drawbridge operator."

Martin suddenly lost his interest in the whole conversation. "I sure hope we can pick her out."

Frasier came in as they were heading for the door. He was expecting Madeline to show up after his boorish behavior in Bora Bora.

"What are you people still doing here?" He said as he came in the door unceremoniously.

"Oh, hush, we'll be long gone before your lady friend gets here." Daphne said as they scrambled for the door.

"Well, you don't want to be late for the ballet." Frasier pressed.

" Well I do! When those ballet guys start flying around in those tight pants, I don't know where to look!"

"Oh, that reminds me, I've got to bring me binoculars." Daphne said as she grabbed her binoculars out of her room quickly.

"Will you just get out of here?!"

"Frasier, will you relax?" Niles said trying to cool his brother's nerves.

"I can't, it's my last chance with Madeline! Serves me right, too, after the way I behaved in Bora Bora." Frasier said in a guilty tone.

"You're being too hard on yourself, it was just bad luck. How were you to know that Lilith had arrived on the island?"

"Aside from the seas starting to churn and all the birds taking flight from the trees." Martin quipped.

"Oh now, don't you worry, Dr. Crane. Miss Marshall's going to forgive you. Women always appreciate a man who's sensitive enough to try again. That's why they call us the 'fair sex.' All right then, let's go see some leaping Russian stags!" Daphne said as she practically ran for the door, the others scrambling after her.

As they headed out the door, they run into Madeline coming in.

"Oh hi, Maddy!" Martin said.

"Oh, hello! We were just leaving for the ballet." Daphne adds.

"Madeline, come in."

"You two kids take your time. Don't worry about us, we'll be out all evening." Niles said trying to sound authoritative.

"Yeah, you know how it is. First the ballet, then the inevitable discussion." added as he closed the door behind them.

When they got to the ballet, Niles tried to concentrate on his Maris, but all that kept going through his mind was Daphne and her private ballet routine in his head. And now with her seated next to him, in such proximity to his goodness...he was starting to perspire every time she would get excited and tap his knee in response to one of the dancers she was admiring leaping around. She kept trying to point out to him the best of the dancers, but the blood was starting to thunder in his ears at every simple touch of her hand.

"_This is going to be a long night..._" Niles thought to himself as he continued to try and pay attention to the performance in question...instead of the one he much preferred to see.


End file.
